Generation Gap and parents’ responsibility for offspring
..There is difference between a confidence and competence, kids with confidence are good but without competence can drag them in a great ambiguity afterward. ...
Generation gap is the word that comes times and again when two generation couldn’t link their understanding, what really creates the gap between the generation and how it can influence our offspring is the topic I want to explore in some extend. There is a concept that if offspring behave astutely, obey their parents every word and are loyal are said to be a good offspring but observing from the next dimension of the coin when are the parents said to be a good parent for that offspring. I personally think that today, being an exemplary parent is as challenging as being an exemplary offspring. we parents have to be aware about what our offspring really wants and have to provided enough space for brainstorming and space for decision making for maintaining the long-term equilibrium in the relationship. Being a parents we always have to understand the fact that, it’s not us who determine all the manual of our offspring approach, Todays child are in such environment where our manual might bounce back with lots of ambiguity , so it’s better to create a space and understand and respect the verdict of each member to avoid such ambiguity. I am surrounded by many parents who do not compromise for their offspring’s enhancement, they want their offspring to get best education, best expose and best platform but it is always to be remembered that family is the best platform to learn and expose. Your time value much to the child than anything that you bought for them by the money. Just tying the knot of the offspring and imposing our interest is not going to help them to explore but it gone confuse them in a long term. There is difference between a confidence and competence, kids with confidence are good but without competence can drag them in a great ambiguity afterward. I can relate many of my friends who are complaining about their kid’s Nepali language, the proper understanding, proper reflection and proper analysis is lacking from their early age and it’s because many parents start to speak in English in house providing utmost priority to it. The thing is language is just the medium where you express your thoughts and the best thing to teach the kids in an early age is to express the thoughts, express their interest, articulate their needs and desires and make the best and astute use of language to get that done. Now, just imagine if a kid comes to you and speak in English and try to convince you in some extend and if another kid comes to you try to convince in your innate language with the use of impressive tone and right use of words, what impress you the most and what makes you more understandable between two so our confuse mindset have confuse our offspring too and that might have a great impact afterward which you mightn’t be aware about and that time you yourself might be saying why is he/she not able to express precisely so it’s a high time to every parents that you need to get out from the old perception. This is quite reflective that teaching in English is not more important instead teaching them the language of expression, language of love, language of respect and language of connection is the most which can be best reflected in the environment that you are associated with. You need to be clear that going against the environment might not help them, if your kids is staying in Nepal than Nepali language must be given most priority to learn all those expressions and that can have a big and positive impact rather than teaching other language. I mean primary focus need to be given to the surrounding language and kids are smart enough that they can learn more language in the days to come. Do you think that your kids who are always communicating in English only gone learn English in today’s world, anyway I think every kid gone speak it and even gone speak more language in future but staying in present is important for us? This is the first step for eradicating the generation gap. Now, the next thing that comes in picture is the way we think and wants our kids to do, before that we need to come out of our old days concept where we might have struggled a lot and do not want our kids to have the same.
It’s imperative to understand that struggling is forever for everyone but the pattern might have changed in one form to another, for our grandfather struggle might be to get up to the school, for our father struggle might be to acquire quality education, for us education might be to struggle to get exposer, for our offspring struggle might be to get opportunities and that continues. If we keep on connecting with our time and keep on trying to make a connection with it than there might be a huge problem with us and this is the main reason for the generation gap. If we want to eradicate the generation gap, forgetting the past, staying and valuating in the present and calculating the future need to be incorporated. In order to understand it, you need to get connected with the offspring, understand their confusion, desire, need and challenges and make yourself in the situation and recommend the solution accordingly. If this happens no child would ever say, how could I convince my parents, why they are unable to understand my situation. In order to get rid of this situation, always have a brainstorming session in the family where everyone can put on their ideas for any decision and priority must be given to the offspring, this not only helps to enhance the understanding among the members but also helps to reduce the chances of any generation gap. There are many parents who adopt this rule and their offspring bring the best outcome for which their family is proud of. This again strike in the situation about brining confidence with competence.
Let me forward, with an interesting instance that I encounter in my life. During my struggling entrepreneur journey, a decade ago, one of the pals in my office was very possessive about his child, he wants his child to learn everything, he wants to explore his child utmost so had enrolled his 10 years kid in many activities. His kid was very much smart in swimming, horse riding, driving, programming and even could speak 3 languages so every member of our office was very much excited and would take him as a great example. The same child had a very good marks in SLC and after 12, the kid couldn’t succeed in his MBBS entrance, after multiple attempts, his parents were in trauma about his future as the kid couldn’t crack the entrance for so many times. This also made us very timid because he was one whom everyone had a great hope for. One fine day, around 2 years back, I met him and talked to him about what’s his plan and how he is planning for his future. His words drag me in a great confusion and made myself to think more about my offspring and my personal approach for their future. That kid was not at all interested in technical or medical field, he wanted to explore in sports line and could see his caliber in the same field but due to the intense expectation from his parents, he was forced to consider the medical field. He repeatedly said me, I took my parents word in high priority and learn so many things in early age but how could I achieve something which is not at all of my interest, which I couldn’t get connected to and which I couldn’t engage my time in. This situation has dragged me in great depression so I couldn’t sleep for whole nights and I could just see the dark future in front of me. After that I also talked to his father about the matter and he expressed me that it was his dream, that he wants his son to be a scholarship holder Medical professional, he argued that I couldn’t study much and I have seen the scope of it and it would be beneficial for his life, so 3-4 years of hard work for that scholarship is worthy. Now, it’s clear to me that we parents want our kids to carve in our own ways, we plan for them and want to achieve what we want but I think it’s not fear enough to impose our interest to our child but we need to appreciate them and always should give them to decide about their future. If we can excite them to work on for the best caliber they inhered, you never know the next messy, the next Elon musk, the next Warrant Buffet might be from your house.
All in all making good communication with offspring which can connect you and your family emotionally, making offspring to explore more and more not just to raise the confidence but to raise confidence for the competence, involving offspring to the decision making process, respecting and valuing their projection and decision and never linking with your past but living with the present and collaborating for the future can bring wonder in your offspring and you can be the proud parents forever. Continuous change in the circumstance and time lapse bring so many wonders to the society. My grandfather in his initial days used to get fond of employment, he had a perception that getting employment, that too the government platform was a big deal for him, he used to think in a way that when we get older, you will get remuration (pension) each month from the government, what more you want in your life. My father had a different values, I have different perception that being entrepreneur mind set can help you to get the money, name and fame and make you independent forever and might be my offspring wouldn’t bother about it and they might get focus in just the social transformation so, respecting the past, living in the present and collaborating for the future is the key to eradicate the generation gap.….